Be Careful What You Kiss For...

Be Careful What You Kiss For...

By
Andrew Macdowell

Do you know how tough it is to catch a cold when you actually want one? Somehow, being a popular guy in school, I allowed myself to get talked into trying out for a school play. I didn't think I had any talent, unfortunately, the drama teacher thought otherwise and not only was I now in the play, I had the lead.

The closer the performances got, the more nervous I became until I talked myself into finding a way out of it. I did everything I could think of to get out of it. I tried causing trouble at home in hopes I would get punished. I also tried to do things in school which would suspend my extra circular activities but, nothing was working! I guess everyone really did like me.

A week to go to the school play and I was having extreme anxiety attacks. Then I walked into math class and heard someone in back of me sniffling and occasionally blowing their nose. After class I turned around to find out who had the cold. Keeping my fingers crossed it was a girl, I was in luck. I could see she was really, really sick and probably should have stayed home that day. Granted, she wasn't one of the cool kids and normally I never would have asked this girl out but, I needed her cold and I needed it then and there.

So, me, being a self centered jock at the time begged and pleaded until she agreed to go out with me that day. And then I went to work. I made sure we drank out of the same glass, I picked up dirty tissues, and, most of all I made sure we kissed. I mean really kissed so germs could transfer to me.

The next morning I woke up to find out nothing happened. Not a sneeze, not a runny nose, not even a sore throat. I ran to school trying to find my little sick girl, I had to try again, time was running out. I began asking the unpopular kids where my little sick girl was - amazed that the rumor I took this girl out was true, they were all to happy to tell me she was home sick. So during lunch I called her to make sure it was ok that I come over after school.

As the rumors grew and I got more and more harassed by the other popular kids for going out with the "geeky girl" with the cold, I got more and more desperate to get sick. It was raining that day so I made sure I got my feet and head wet. I went over to the sick girl's house and was glad when her mother opened the door for me and told me that she too had a bad cold. JACKPOT. Or so I thought.

I went come confident I caught a cold. Next day I woke up - NOTHING again. I did this all week. It was clear I wasn't going to get sick and I was going to be forced to through with the play. Somehow I got through the school play that Friday and Saturday and was actually hailed as a "fine actor" and someone to watch in the future.

Thankful that was over I could concentrate on sports once again. I had try-outs coming up for the basketball team on Monday, and, I didn't think I'd have any problems. I was a natural at the game and my height clearly gave me an advantage. And then on Sunday it happened. I woke up with a sore throat and by Monday I felt awful and running a fever of 101.1 and sneezing and coughing like crazy. Not only didn't I get to school that day (actually all week) because I was so sick, I wasn't allowed a make-up try out for the basketball team.

Moral of the story? Be careful what you kiss for...

Catch a cold! Catch a date!

How my guy "caught" Me by Susan Santangelo

Every day I take the bus to work from the suburbs to the city - it's about a 45 minute ride in total one way. A few years ago, I saw the same guy at the bus station every day. He would try to sit with me or near me on the bus but, never a word was spoken between us. I never gave him much thought beyond the bus stop. One day during a rather wet Fall, I noticed someone a few rows ahead of my normal seating suffering with a fall cold. The following week, the people who sat next to the person and behind the person seemed to have caught it the same cold.

It was a rainy Thursday, it was windy, and my umbrella broke. I was soaked to the bone and the person in front of me had caught this progressive "bus cold". I was doomed. I made it through the weekend without so much as a sniffle or sneeze then on Monday I woke up and within five minutes of showering, I felt chilly. It was again raining, so, I got out my new umbrella and headed to the bus stop. I saw my seat partner and we nodded to each other. As the bus pulled up, I managed to find a huge puddle and step right in it. I was shivering cold at this point and, then without any notice or control I started to sneeze. The guy next to me finally spoke up and said "bless you" and from there a conversation developed. It turned out we had mutual friends and he asked for my number.

Tuesday morning I woke with a sore throat and sniffles but still went to work. The sweet guy I had been ignoring all these weeks came armed with tissues and throat lozenges and I inquired "did you catch a cold too?" He looked me in the eye and he said "no, I got them for you." I was floored. Never before had anyone been so sweet or thoughtful to me. And by then I was developing a raspy cold voice. I must have sneezed 10 times between the bus stop and work, and, he just sat there asking me if there was anything he could do. I got through work on Tuesday later than usual and was feeling pretty miserable as the cold was beginning to break and I was now stuffed up, feverish, along with the sore throat and generally just not feeling well.

Wednesday morning came, and, I felt awful. I had a fever, I hadn't slept the night before because I was so congested and, I was sneezing like crazy. The rain had turned to snow that late Fall day and I called in sick. I heard my doorbell ring, and, I drug myself out of bed to answer it. Who do I find standing there with homemade soup? My seat-mate. He got my address from mutual friends and that's how he found me. I told him if he didn't mind my being sick, I'd love him to come back for dinner that evening which he did.

When my seat-mate came back for dinner that evening he heated the soup, made sure I was warm, and, we cuddled for hours under a blanket as we watched a movie. Of course, I sneezed on him a few times, completely unintentionally, but, when you have a cold, you're going to sneeze. By the end of the evening, he begged for a kiss good night. I warned him he would catch my cold but, his argument was that he was already exposed to me and he probably already had it. How could I argue? It was hard to kiss with a stuffy nose but it was indeed enjoyable. The next morning he had the cold and came over to be sick together. And that's how catching a cold led me to catching a date. Well, more than a date, we've been living together for 3 years now!
Not all colds are bad ones!

I-choooo! A cold for my wedding day

I-chooo!

By Scott Harris

My wife and I wanted a very romantic wedding and what day could be more romantic than Valentine's Day? We timed out the weekend perfectly since President's Day just happened to fall on the weekend during Valentine's Day and this gave us the opportunity to invite out-of-town friends and relatives who might not otherwise been able to attend.

My wife is a hardy New England gal accustomed to brutal Winters, whereas, I was a Southern California guy who only experienced a full Winter once. So, as we were busy during our final two weeks of our wedding planning. A cold started going around my office. I had suffered two colds already that winter and didn't want this one - especially now!

I turned into a cleaning maniac and a germaphobe! I walked around the office with a mask and gloves (and was teased mercilessly by my co-workers. All in good fun of course, they knew my wedding was coming up but, still loved to rib me.)

One week to go and relatives and friends started to arrive, and, I thought I was safe. I thought I beat that cold bug. And then I got a sneezing fit (for me it's sure sign a cold is coming on.) Two days before our wedding that nasty little cold bug reared it's ugly head. I caught the office cold and it was a bad one. I spent the day doing everything possible to get rid of it. I knew it would take a miracle but, I still had to try.

I woke up on our wedding day with a high fever, aching, and, sneezing like crazy. Of course I couldn't cancel our wedding, so, I loaded up with tissues and headed to the church.

When my beautiful bride to be appeared in the door way of the church. I was amazed I could feel so rotten and so wonderful at the same time. As the ceremony went through the usual steps we got to the "And do you Scott take this woman as your lawfully wedded wife" part and it happened...

I felt it coming on as the minster was asking the question. I was twitching my nose so fast I probably could have given any bunny rabbit a run for the money in the hopes I could hold it back. Just as the minister got the words out, I started to say "I do" when a enormously loud sneeze came out with it and I proclaimed "I-chooooo"

The church burst out in full hysterical laughter for a good five solid minutes. Unfortunately with that sneeze I passed my cold along to the minister and my poor wife. Instead of spending our honeymoon in Hawaii as planned, we spent in bed and not in a good way. And even though we've been married for years now, anyone who was at my wedding reminds me without failure that I'm the guy who said "I-chooo" instead of "I do".

I happen to have a cold right now and stumbled across this site and since it askes people to submit their funny cold stories I thought I'd share mine. I hope you enjoyed it and yes it's a true story.

How To Catch A Cold

While no one ever wants to catch a cold, we sometimes do things help those little germs invade and take hold. Here is a classic Disney short on "How To Catch A Cold": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvRmn7pCOlc

Welcome to The Cold Truth

It's the most common illness on the face of the planet. Most of us average two to three of them per year. Sometimes they are very bad and other times a mere nuance. I am, of course, referring to the feverish, aching body, runny nose, stuffy nose, coughing, sneezing overall pain in the rump common cold.

This blog is NOT intended for medical advice. While home remedies may occasionally be posted in this blog, it is not the responsibility of the blog owner nor the blog owner's liability should the home remedy fail. This is about the lighter side of the common cold and how it is "shared" by the entire world.

We're always looking for humorous stories about catching or fighting the common cold. If you have a story you'd like to share simply email us with: The Name of your Story; The Story; And your name or how you'd like to be credited. And if it's clean (G-rated) we'll post it!
Email: thecoldblog@gmx.com